Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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