Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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