We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
