Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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