I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
