I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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