I'm sorry my penis didn't work
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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