I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
