He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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