and you said cock pushups were impossible
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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