Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
