It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
