I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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