Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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