Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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