I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
