Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
