i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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