If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
