Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize