we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
