i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
