last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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