Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
