So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
