NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
