He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
