They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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