I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
this just has baby written all over it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
