your parents love me but you hate me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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