It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
