Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
