This is not my ceiling
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
