his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
