I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
