Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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