i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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