saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
