dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I AM VODKA MAN
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
