Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
