What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
