Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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