His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
