Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
