I want to walk on stilts...naked
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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