i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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