so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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