I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
