if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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