if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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