I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
