plz talk dirty to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
