only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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