its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
