i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
