Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
