So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
