what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
