I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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