we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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