I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I lost the right to judge tonight
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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