I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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