guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
