I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
