I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize