so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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