well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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