I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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