You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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