thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
NoShamevember. You game?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize